Back Seat Oracle - Drivin' Like You're Drunk and You're Stoned

Lyrics

Drivin’ down the road in my tricked E.T.
When I noticed two bluebirds sittin’ behind a tree.
I tried to be cool, but it was oh too late,
The flashin’ red and blue has become my fate.

He arrived at my window and “Have you been drinkin‘?”
I said “No Officer! …don’t know what I was thinkin
He said “If your speed wasn’t so irregular, I would have left you alone,
Cause frankly buddy, you’re driving like you’re drunk and you’re stoned
 (Chorus)
Drivin like you’re drunk and you’re stoned. Drivin like you’re drunk and you’re stoned.
Drivin like you’re drunk and you’re stoned. Drivin like you’re drunk and you’re stoned.
Like you’re drunk and you’re stooooooooned. Stoooooooned
Drivin like you’re drunk and you’re stoned.

…Next day
I’m my way home from a long hard day,
When a menopause red BMW got in my way.
For some reason she wouldn’t get it over 29,
Ping-ponging back and forth between the lines.

After a couple of miles, the road turned to four lanes
I said “Finally! I can dust this pain! …”
As I passed, I yelled “Your car is bad to the bone,
…Just do me a favor and stop driving like you’re drunk and you’re stoned!
(Chorus)
Drivin like you’re drunk and you’re stoned. Drivin like you’re drunk and you’re stoned.
Drivin like you’re drunk and you’re stoned. Drivin like you’re drunk and you’re stoned.
Like you’re drunk and you’re stooooooooned. Stoooooooned
Drivin like you’re drunk and you’re stoned.
(Bridge)
I am so beautiful.
Foot off and on the gas, as I’m hogging the pavement.
I am so wonderful.
With my head up my ass, everything is so fragrant.
Just leave me alone… to piss everyone off and
DRIVE LIKE I’M DRUNK AND I’M STONED! 

I’m at a stoplight, staring at a bumper sticker that says “Corvettes Rule!”
I look up to see behind wheel is some middle aged tool!
He’d cruise real slow until someone tries to pass,
Then he’d perk up slam his foot on the gas!

Everyone was a challenge to this looser,
Until he met his match with an unmarked cruiser.
Driving like a model citizen, I then flipped him the bone,
And said “that’s what you get when you’re driving like you’re drunk and your stoned!”