Back Seat Oracle - Back Seat Oracle ~ Monologue


Now a lot of folks have been asking me “What is a Backseat Oracle?”

Well,… the Backseat Oracle is knowledge, inspiration, hope, love… wrapped up in one. And then they ask, “who is the backseat Oracle?” I reply, “Everyone”! …And then give up on the subject when I see that look on their face. You know that look. It’s same look a youngster gets when they realize they have to go to summer school.
And I’m thinking… “If you don’t know now… you might some day! …and if it doesn’t happen then, chances are you’ll forget it and find something else to rack your brain over until you decide to move on”. And at that time… Just maybe… You’ll get it! So by then, you will have hopefully learned something from the summer school of life, and maybe then you no longer feel like such a road hazard! But… I’m getting away from the subject.

Now for those of us,… who’ve seen the Backseat Oracle. We know the Backseat Oracle comes in many shapes, sizes and forms, … smells, colors… Now, to make it simple, I’m going to call The Backseat Oracle “He”. I’m sure a few people will be pissed off but… Hell!… Maybe they’ll get it in summer school! Now he, (the backseat oracle) knows more than we can imagine. For example, he knows love… he knows hate… he knows wealth, he knows poverty,… famine, excess, prejudice, acceptance, lust, chastity and the list goes on! He knows so much, that he barely reacts to whatever you through at him. It’s not that he doesn’t understand… he just doesn’t have much to say about the insipid “me-babble” shit you’re trying to lay on him. You see, he not into gossip and the in thing. The Oracle is about that positive information or vibe that you get from a mentor, muse, or vision. So, if he does say something, and you listen…

You’ll realize that this cat has definitely got his shit to-ge-ther! …But when you think of it, of course he does… After all, the Oracle doesn’t mind riding in the backseat… he already knows where we’re going.

Now there are those who think they are the Backseat Oracle. Impersonators. You’ve heard them. They bark, they whine, they praise their own importance, just because they read a whole lot of books! Somehow they forgot that somebody (possibly an impersonator) wrote those books in the first place. So, in their own self denial, they spend most of their time ruffling the feathers of the populous because “they didn’t get it”! Don’t want to come up with an antidote to fix the small problems which have fried their fragile “wittle” minds at one time or another. They just want to make a lot of noise with “I didn’t get it!“ …maybe they’ll “get it” in summer school! You know, the worst impersonators are scientist. Maybe not all of them. But most exhaust themselves and annoy us in figuring out ways to better fill a square box with a round peg.

Or, in egg head terms, “ They attempt to comprehend the composition of the common cylinder by braking it’s properties down to a more conceivable term which is compatible with the integrity of the box.” Oh that sounds real good, but… The Backseat Oracle already knows there is no need for a box.